


One Last Moment.

by Skeleton_Wolf



Series: Sterek Short Stories! [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Music, M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 03:20:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeleton_Wolf/pseuds/Skeleton_Wolf
Summary: A Sterek one-shot based on Michael Schulte's "You Said You'd Grow Old With Me".





	One Last Moment.

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Heavily implied suicide and possible TW for mentions of alcohol abuse.
> 
> This is inspired/based on "You Said You'd Grow Old With Me" by Michael Schulte. I would highly recommend you listen to it.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R-06ryWGpQ <--This is the link to the song, it's beautiful and really worth the listen.

_ I'd like to say I'm okay, but I'm not _

_ I try, but I fall _

_ Close my mind, turn it off _

Why did you leave me? Everyone - The Pack, my dad, Melissa - they all keep asking me if I'm _ okay, _ I keep replying that I am but we all know that it's a lie. Every time I try to be I get worse, it gets worse. I only know one way to shut it off but you'd hate it and I wish I could blame you but I hate it too.

_ But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep _

_ You've got your peace now, but what about me? _

It reminds me of my dad - of mine and his past - and I despise it but I can’t stop it; it keeps me numb. I just wish it could do more. I just wish it would clear my mind enough to sleep but I can’t, not without you by my side. It’s too cold in bed - everywhere, anywhere - without you. You left me in this hell hole without you.

It seems unfair that you get to move on and leave me here but I am not mad nor do I blame you. I just miss you and wish you were still here to help me - to help everyone. Gods, I miss you. I wish I could help you but I’m too late, always too late when it comes to you.

_ Thought we had the time, had our lives _

_ Now you'll never get older, older _

_ Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time _

_ Getting colder, colder _

I never said it back, I never told you how much I loved you because I thought we had the time; I thought I had_ enough_ time. Now I will never get the chance because we’ll never grow old together, never get the chance to move out and live together. You’ll never get to see The Packs pups or the finished re-built Hale House, the one you and Peter organized to surprise me and our Pack, the one you planned for us to live in. We’ll never get married, never have children, never move further on in _this, _in our relationship. 

And it hurts, when I think about it, it hurts so gods damned much that I can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t even open my eyes for fear of not seeing you. For fear that when do I won’t wake from a nightmare but I will realise that the falsity that I had been living inside my head, the one where you were still here, the one where you were right next to me, is just that: a falsity, a lie.

_ One last word _

_ One last moment _

_ To ask you why you left me here behind _

_ You said you'd grow old with me _

If I had the chance I would tell you I love you but I’d also ask you why you did it and why you didn’t talk to me. I could’ve helped you, Derek, you could’ve trusted me. You made me a promise and you broke that promise along with my heart. You left me, you fucking left me! 

I’m sorry, wasn’t I good enough? I could’ve been better, would’ve been if it meant you didn't leave everyone; if it meant you didn’t leave me. I should have been better, I should have seen it. I ought to have seen the signs. They were all there now I think back on it and I am so sorry. But sorry isn’t enough now. 

_ We had plans, we had visions _

_ Now I can't see ahead _

_ We were one, we were golden _

_ Forever you said _

We had a future together, I don’t believe I’m like the others you’ve dated, I know what you are - what you were - I wasn’t going to hurt or betray you, I could never do that to you, I wasn’t going to leave. So we could have spent the rest of forever together but now you’re gone and you’re never coming back.

I had a date planned, a picnic date, one where we would sit and watch the sunset - as cheesy as it would’ve been I felt, and still feel, that it would have summed us up well - I had planned to tell you then. To tell you that I love you. I will continue to love you, Derek, no matter what. I wanted you to hear those words from me and for you to know that I was in this for the long hall. But I guess you weren't. And now I don’t know what to do or where to go.

We were perfect for one another, everyone agreed despite their initial hesitation, and now I don’t think I can continue without you; without my other half.

_ But I can't be sober, I cannot sleep _

_ You've got your peace now, but what about me? _

Now I can’t go a day without trying to forget, hoping that maybe I’ll fall asleep never to wake, but I can’t even close my eyes anymore in case I see that _lie _and gain false hope yet again. I can’t handle that. But I also know I can’t leave everyone, they’ve already lost you and I don't think they could handle another loss. Despite my pulling away they keep pulling me back, they are what’s holding me together right now. But it was supposed to be you. Always you.

_ Thought we had the time, had our lives _

_ Now you'll never get older, older _

_ Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time _

_ Getting colder, colder _

I wish you were here, I can’t do this, I’ve lost so many people and I can’t lose you too but now you’re gone and you’ll never be able to spend the rest of your life, happy, with The Pack. I’ll never get to spend the rest of my life with you. 

I didn’t even get to say goodbye, you left too early in the morning, maybe there’s a metaphor there, maybe I’m just thinking too hard. I woke to a cold bed, thinking you’d gone out on a run until it only grew colder, you had never stayed out that long. I wish I had gone out looking for you sooner but I was too late, yet again. Now your side of the bed stays cold, forever and always.

_ One last word _

_ One last moment _

_ To ask you why you left me here behind _

_ You said you'd grow old with me _

And I wish I could know why but I don’t. I didn’t know what was wrong when you were alive and I still don’t. Yes, you left a note but there was no reason, just endless apologies, goodbyes and an “_ I love you, Stiles”. _That was all that was lying next to your body, claws extended and covered in blood. You didn’t deserve that, you deserve a long happy life as you promised me but now that can never happen.

_ Thought we had the time, had our lives _

_ Now you'll never get older, older _

_ Didn't say goodbye, now I'm frozen in time _

_ Getting colder, colder _

But I thought it could, hoped it could. I wanted it all, I wanted everything with you and I thought we had time and I thought we wouldn’t have to rush. I gravely misjudged and I am sorry for that. Now I am alone despite being surrounded by people and I hate it. It hurts to be so close to those who love you and not being able to reciprocate it in a way they deserve. I just wish I could show them yet without you, I don’t seem to be able to speak. It's like my lips are frozen and you are the only one who can set them free.

_ Just one last word _

_ One last moment _

_ Just to ask you why you left me here behind _

_ You said you'd grow old with me _

I love you, Derek Hale, forever and always despite you leaving me here without you - I’m sure you had your reasons I just wish you talked to me, I was always there for you as you were for me, we could’ve gone through them together. I hope that one day I’ll get one last moment. Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, if you haven't already, you should listen to the song. I hope you liked it and comment and/or leave kudos. Have a great day, bye!
> 
> P.S. if you have any tips on how I could improve my writing that is also welcome. :)


End file.
